if you want sound for your reading
JOURNEY / WORK
My approach to my work is linked to the Fluxus art movement. Fluxus emphasized the artistic process over the finished product. They were playing, and dialoging between different practices and mediums, where radicality, rituals, and the body in action was the center of the birth of performance art.
My work is shifting and changing as I am. My work is always expressed as a trialogue, a feedback loop, with myself, the work and the people there with me. Meaning grows out of the meeting of different sets of experiences. The individual meeting with the room, objects and people, result in different subjective narratives. I explore actions in practice and performance that hopefully are open enough for the audience to put their own experiences into.
I started my research by focusing on my inner complexity, my chaos, the sides of myself I don't understand yet, and maybe even fear to look at. Like the experience of starting again, not knowing, not feeling wanted, not fitting in, not getting it and not being worthy of it, whatever “it” is. I focused on my coping mechanisms.
I automatically adjusted and adapted to fit in and fulfill expectations. I did this without giving myself space to check in with my true feelings and reactions. I did not realise how deeply automated my responses and my behavior patterns were until I attended a workshop with Joshua Sofaer February 2019.
A lot of different questions came up during this workshop,:
“Do you react or do you respond? Do you initiate or are you always waiting to respond? Are you an immediate solver?”. These questions provoked me into thinking, and I understood that there is a space in between external happenings, and the way I choose to respond to them. This is “an in-between space". Expanding this listening space became the main focus of my creative process in my work. I wanted to find it, to experience it and explore it, until I eventually could use it as an element in my work, as essential as music, sound and movement.
While listening I experience, and observe myself experiencing it at the same time. This helps me understand how my behaviour patterns influence and control me. This understanding is important for me in order to find new ways of responding. The accepting of what is, as well as allowing myself to follow any psychological or physical impulse.
This in-between listen space has become a crucial mode for me. In this mode I find my sense of freedom and my sense of self. I always aim to honour this space as my creative starting point.
In order to fully accept and experience the present moment, I need to allow and respect the process. If something come up, I have to be with it to understand and accept it in order to be able to create from it. This way of approaching life and work made me interested in observing everything. Through listening in life and work, I started to relate differently to the modes I was already working with, such as dance, movements and text. This listening also affected my way of working with music, creating soundscapes and mixing them like a DJ.
I started using Pauline Olivero´s Deep listening method in my work.
I started listening to my inner voice regarding what kind of sounds I was interested in, and what I could do with these sounds. I listened with my whole body, using all my senses, feeling vibration and observing sound. I registered how I could listen while breathing and allowing time alone or when interacting with the audience. I realised that my listening was coloured by the way I met the moment.
My performances can be described as a feedback loop, as discussed in the chaos theory, an interaction between myself, the work and the audience. It generates new material, from what is being fed into it. I have worked on being able to also feed music and sampling into this feedback loop, an underlying structure I´ve created, a score. This always changes when the work meets the performance space and the audience..
In the feedback loop I mix information, dance and movement. I mix improvised and prerecorded soundscapes. I use live sampling and interaction with the audience, myself the space i am in and the different objects I aim to accept whatever comes up and out of this. The narrative, what the audience read into the work, will be different for everyone, made up from their different backgrounds and life experiences.
THE VIDE CLIPP BEHIND IS "PASSING BY" from april 2019, from the train